A few years ago, Chad and Stephanie Schuitema were living fairly comfortable lives in a spacious suburban home in America’s Midwest. He was a pastor, she stayed at home with their three boys. Their church denomination, the Reformed Church in America, had recently incorporated Faithwalking into their denominational revitalization initiative, and Chad was invited to become involved in the process. On the first of several future trips to Houston, Chad attended a deeply impacting Faithwalking 101 retreat with a group of colleagues. Soon afterward, he trained to lead 101 retreats in his hometown, at which point Stephanie became involved. Little did they anticipate how God would use their collective Faithwalking experience to change the trajectory of their lives.
The first major change was improved mutual understanding, which came about through evaluating areas of habitual disobedience and clarifying their vows. Stephanie had always believed she was something of a misfit, that she was odd and didn’t fit in. Believing she was not good enough, she lived a self-protective life of insecurity focused on meeting others’ expectations. Chad, on the other hand, struggled with control issues. He felt threatened when people tried to define themselves in ways he did not accept or agree with. “Different” was “bad.” As they began processing their vows together, Chad realized he was acting as a controlling authority figure in their marriage. This caused Stephanie, who struggles with taking risks, to hold back part of her true self. Being able to articulate this about their marriage dynamic was significant.
Another pivotal step was attending a Missional Marriage conference in Houston. Thanks to last-minute cancellations by all the other conference attendees, Chad and Stephanie received an unexpected personalized marriage consultation with Faithwalking founding leaders. Missional Marriage opened up a new way for them to talk. They were able to make choices and cast vision about their future. “For a long time I had lived my life as a ‘victim,’” Stephanie shares. “I would always stop short of doing things I wanted to do because I didn’t think I could succeed.” Chad adds, “We wanted to live differently. Faithwalking heightened the aspect of risk taking and stepping out in faith.”
Faithwalking calls us to living a “large life of stewardship.” For Chad and Stephanie living large entailed several course changes. Since beginning Faithwalking, the Schuitemas have left the pastorate to take on a regional leadership role within their denomination, which necessitated a move to a new city. In their new city, they downsized, choosing to settle in a central, urban setting in order to live among people socially and economically different from them. They are attending a Lutheran, rather than Reformed, church, so they can worship in their own community. And Stephanie has enrolled in a university program to become a licensed therapist, a move that would have been too bold for her not too long ago. “That is something I would not have done before Faithwalking. I wouldn’t have dared to. I had to learn that avoiding risks does not shield or hide anyone from pain; by living small you still feel the pain.”
For Chad living large involves taking a long look at how he and his family can make relational connections in their new city, building a future missional community from the ground up. Living large also involves relinquishing control over others, and asking for forgiveness when he offends. Stephanie remarks that Chad has indeed changed dramatically, as a husband, a father, and a leader.
The Schuitemas have a burden to reach families in their neighborhood with the same process of transformation that has so changed them. “We want to know our neighbors, we want to be agents of grace,” Chad says. When people ask about Faithwalking, they simply share stories of how their lives are being transformed and enlarged, one step of faith at a time.
